[你家孩子有“社交退缩症”吗]宝宝常喜欢一个人在角落玩，碰到外人时表现害羞、不自在，从不主动交朋友。有些家长为此很着急。小雅妈：我家宝宝比较内向一些，中午老师发的小花卷不够吃，别的同学举手要，她不敢；平...+阅读
Many offices are virtual beehives1 of social life， plete with their own patterns of gift giving， party schedules， and customs and traditions.
Collections2 It is the custom in many American offices to take up collections to buy presents for births， weddings， birthdays， and other happy occasions. Many people willingly participate in this tradition， but many more undoubtedly resent3 the continual expense.
Office collections only work among co-workers who genuinely he some fondness for one another and when the demands aren't too high. They don't work when you're in an enormous office and you barely recognize the person to whom you're expected to give money. They also don't work when a set amount， which is often beyond some people's means， is expected.
Asking people to kick in a dollar or two is okay. Asking for ten or twenty dollars usually is not. Those who know the person and want to give more money may， but no one should ever feel obliged to give more than a dollar or two to an office collection.
If you're taking up the collection， you can ease the situation by asking only those who really know the recipient4 to participate. Rather than exclude anyone， though， offer the choice to someone who may not want to contribute：" I'm taking up a collection to buy Mary a wedding gift， but I know you don't know her， so I don't feel it's right to ask you." That lees the decision entirely in the hands5 of the giver. From the giver's point of view， once someone has let you off the hook6 in this way， you should feel no pressure to contribute. Another solution used in some offices is to pass around an envelope. Each person may anonymously7 contribute what he or she likes.
Office Parties Another office tradition is giving parties to celebrate big events——baby showers，wedding showers， retirement parties，and the ubiquitous8 birthday parties. Strictly speaking，these ought not to be held on office time or premises9，but they often are.Whenever possible，give major parties for co-workers at another location.Parties that take place at work， say， for a retirement or a birthday， should be kept fairly brief and subdued10. Some large offices merge11 events——that is，they he one birthday party in a month rather than a series of birthday celebrations.
Gifts Most offices indulge in12 some form of gift giving， usually at holiday time. Bosses typically give gifts to their staff members， while employees are not obliged to give gifts in return. The exception is the secretary or personal assistant who wishes to give the boss a present. This gift can be very modest13， even if the boss's gift was lish14. It would， in fact， be inappropriate for an employee to give an employer an elaborate15 or expensive gift. Some offices he a grab bag16 gift exchange， where everyone puts his name in a bag also draws the name of another worker. When these are the custom， the gifts should be small， and it is a good idea to set a dollar limit， usually five to ten dollars.
The best office gifts are impersonal17 but clearly chosen with an individual's interests in mind. Books， pact discs， food， desk accessories18， datebooks， umbrellas， and impersonal items of clothing such as scarves and gloves are all acceptable. Joke gifts are fine and popular in many offices as long as they are not overly offensive.
Employers should also keep in mind that a bonus19 is not a present. It is part of the reimbursement20 package and as such should never be referred to or considered a present. Apart from any specific office rituals， gift exchanges among co-workers are the same as gift exchanges among friends.
许多办公室实际上是社交生活的热闹场所，有自己完备的赠送礼物、安排聚会以及习俗和传统的模式。
凑份子许多美国办公室有为新生儿降临、新人结婚、生日和其他喜庆的场合凑钱买礼品的习俗。许多人愿意参加这一传统活动，但也有不少人肯定对这种没完没了的支出有反感。
办公室凑份子活动只在同事彼此真有好感、并且所交的那份钱不是太多的情况下才能进行。如果在一大型办公室你几乎不认识你要凑份子送礼品的对象，这种活动就无法进行。如果这份钱数定得过高，超过同事的承受能力，凑份子活动也难以进行。
让同事出一两美元没问题。但要一二十元通常就行不通了。那些认识送礼对象想多给钱的人可以多给，但对于办公室凑份子活动，谁也没必要非得给多于一两元。
如果你负责凑份子活动，你可以只让那些真正认识送礼对象的人来参加，这样会好办些。但是与其把任何外人排除，不如让那些可能不想凑份子的同事自己选择："我正在让大家凑份子，给玛丽买一结婚礼物，我知道你不认识她，所以我不好意思让你出钱。"这样，你就把决定权完全交给了对方。从出钱人的角度来看，如果有人让你自作决定而不让你为难，你便不会感到有压力了。在某些办公室还有一种做法是传递个信封。每位同事可不记名地放入他或她愿意给的数目。
办公室聚会办公室的另一种传统是聚会，庆祝重大事件——分娩送礼会、结婚送礼会、退休欢送会，普遍性的生日晚会等等。严格而言，这些聚会不应在办公时间或场所举行，但它们经常就在办公室举办。如果可能的话还是另找一个地方举办较大的同事聚会。在办公时间举办的聚会如退休欢送会或庆祝生日活动应简短为好而且不可过分热闹。有些大公司集中举行庆祝活动——即他们一个月搞一次生日聚会而不是开一系列生日晚会。礼品多数办公室喜好某种礼品赠送形式，通常在节日之际，老板往往送雇员礼品，而雇员没有必要回赠礼物。除非秘书或私人助理想给老板一件礼物。这一礼品可以是非常普通的物品，尽管老板的礼品可能相当昂贵。实际上雇员若送给雇主一件精致或昂贵的礼品，那是不合适的。有些办公室设有礼品交换袋，每个人将自己的名字放入袋中再抓另一位同事的名字。如果实行的是这种习俗，礼品应是小礼物，不妨设定个金额限制，通常是在5到10美元之间。
的办公室礼物是一般性的，但选择时显然要考虑到个人兴趣。书籍、光盘、食品、办公桌装饰品、记事台历、雨伞，和一般性的服饰物件如围巾、手套等都是不错的选择。带有开玩笑性质的礼品在许多办公室也颇为流行，只要不过分伤人。
雇主应该切记奖金不是礼品。那是整个酬金补偿的一部分，绝不应被称为或被认为是一种礼物。除了特殊的办公室习俗，同事间的礼物交换同朋友间的礼物交换是一样的。
注释：
1.beehive n.拥挤吵闹的地方（或场面）
2.collection n.募集的钱，募捐
3.resent vt.对…表示忿恨，怨恨
4.recipient n.接受者，收受者
5.hands n.支配，掌管
6.offthehook[口]摆脱责任，脱离困境
7.anonymously adv.匿名地，无名地
8.ubiquitous adj.无所不在的，普通存在的
9.premise n.[～s]事务所，办公室
10.subdued adj.减弱的，低调的
11.merge vt.使合为一体
12.indulge vi.（与in连用）让自己高兴一下
13.modest adj.朴实无华的
14.lish adj.慷慨的，大方的
15.elaborate adj.精制的
16.grabbag[美]摸彩袋
17.impersonal adj.一般的
18.accessory n.[复]装饰品
19.bonus n.奖金
20.reimbursement n.（费用的）偿还，补偿
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