[谁有李阳疯狂英语的经典1000句]Absolutely. 是这样；当然是；正是如此；绝对如此。 Absolutely impossible！ 绝对不可能的！ All I have to do is learn English. 我所要做的就是学英语。 Are you free tomorrow？ 你...+阅读
送个两个 ，你自己选一个，第一个比较搞笑 ，第二个比较简单 你自己看着办 ，但愿有你喜欢的 ！英语搞笑话剧《孔雀东南飞》 Wander severy five miles 焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort) 焦母Johnny'smother(JMforshort)刘母Lunch'smother(LMforshort) 太守之子Mayor'sson(MSforshort)强盗Burglars(ABandC) Prologue本文转自：.coffbar.com小品剧本，简历封面，免费电影 （J作被打状跑上台，内砸出一卷纸筒，J被打中，狼狈不堪） J:Everybody says that I'm henpecked,but in fact,I'm as strong as a tiger，（小声）while my wife is WuSong. （指着上台处的门大声道）I'm not afraid of you！ （内砸出一脸盆，J接住当成盾牌护着头）Then,I'm afraid of whom? My wife Lunch is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.She is braver than me, smarter than me and stronger than me.All this I do not care.I only want her to be tender than me.But she is not!Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell（地狱）！ （内又砸出一卷纸筒，击中J） MyGod!Who can help me？（下） Act1 （序幕结束时，JM作窃听状） JM（拄拐棍上）：I can！ （对门内）Lunch!Lunch!Where are you? L（扎着围裙，拿着锅铲，从门内跳出来）：I'm here!What's up mum? JM:I've told you again and again that you should call me“my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law”. L:OK.My most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law,what's up? JM:Since you married my son you have behaved so badly.You have been so rude,so brusque,so lazy…… L:But…… JM:Never interrupt me! L:Never interrupt me!Since I married your son,that terrible Johnny,I have been working hard all day long,cooking and washing.I have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chicken and…… JM:But all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson! L（生气地挥动着锅铲）：Oh,you want a grandson,don'tyou？（开始解围裙）Go and ask your son.I'm leaving！（扯下围裙，扔在JM的脸上，下） Act2 (LM坐在台上打毛线，L拿着锅铲上) L:Mum,I'm back! LM:You are back?Why?What happened? L:I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law. LM（惊讶，但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情）：See!I have already told you!When you insisted on marrying that terrible Johnny,I told you that he is ugly stupid and poor,but you did not listen to me.Look at yourself…… L:But,mum…… LM:Never interrupt me! L:Mum,I'm not interrupting you.I just want to tell you that you are always right OK? And I'll marry whom ever you want me to. LM（大喜）：Nice girl!Just now,I met the mayor's son in the market.He said:“If your daughter Haven't been married,I really really want to marry her!”Now you are free again,I'll go and tell him.（下） L（惊愕）：What?The mayor's son?The most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood？（手中的锅铲掉在地上）What a silly thing I have done （下） Act3本文转自：（J睡眼惺忪上） J（边走边道）：Lunch! Lunch !Where are my socks？ （走了几步，在地上捡起袜子）Here they are！（闻一下） Er!How smelly!They are still dirty！ （突然想起）Lunch has gone!I have to wash them myself. （他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来）Oh,I'm so hungry!But there's no breakfast！（捡起地上的围 裙）This is what Lunch always wears!I miss her so much,and her excellent cooking skill!Now she has gone.I have to cook for my mother and myself. JM（上）：Where's my breakfast?Where's Lunch?Hasn't she got up yet? J:Mum,can't you remember?Lunch has gone! JM（沉吟刻）：Well,to tell you the truth Johnny,a son without a wife is useless.Lunch is a nice girl,go and take her back! J（立正敬礼）：Yes madam! Act4 (J开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗) A:Hey you!Stop and Listen to us! The road is built by me！（抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上） B:And I planted one tree！（亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上） C:If you want to go by this street---（欲踩石头，但踩到了A的脚） AB&C:Give us all your money! J（搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币）：Is 1mao enough？ （三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量） A:What bad luck!This guy is broken! B:If we can not rob any money today,we will have nothing to eat tonight! C:I heard that the mayor's son is going to marry Miss Liu Lanzhi next month.WE can go and rob the wedding! A&B:Good idea! J（惊讶）：What?What?Lunch is going to get married?It's impossible! AB&C:Why?A pretty girl and a rich man,what a good couple! J:But Lunch is my wife!We haven't got divorced yet！ （突然有了主意）I've got an idea!You are going to rob the wedding,don't you?I'll go with you.You take the money and I take the bride. B:Have you got any experience? J:No....
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