英语笑话：Jesus Is Watching You

There was a thief who broke into a house and started

collecting things. Suddenly, he heard a voice ing

from a dark corner saying, "Jesus is watching you."

So he looked and looked, but he didn't see anyone.

He thought maybe his ears were deluding him.

So he continued collecting items in the house.

And then there came a voice again: "Jesus is

watching you!" This time it was louder. So he

realized that his ears were not wrong. He followed

the voice to find its source, and he found a parrot

sitting there. So he asked the parrot, "Was it you

who said that?" And the parrot confessed, "Yes,

I was just trying to warn you." So the thief said,

"Ha! Who do you think you are?" And the parrot said,

"I am Moses." So the thief laughed and said, "Ha!

What kind of stupid people would name a parrot Moses?"

The parrot was very shy, but he said, "Well, probably

the same people who named the Rottweiler dog 'Jesus'!"

(A Rottweiler is a first-rate guard dog. And this

one's name was Jesus. And he was watching the

thief from somewhere. He weighed about 150 pounds.)

耶稣正看着你

有个小偷潜入一间房子偷东西，突然间他听到黑暗的角落

传来一个声音：「耶稣正在看着你。」他看来看去，

却看不到任何人，他想也许是自己听错了，就继续的搜刮。

过了一会儿又传出同样的声音：「耶稣正在看着你。」

这次比较大声，所以他肯定不可能是耳朵有问题，他就

循着声音去找是谁在讲话，结果看到一只鹦鹉在那里，

于是他问鹦鹉：「是你在说话吗？」鹦鹉承认说：

「是的，我只是想警告你。」

小偷说：「哈！你以为你是谁？」鹦鹉回答：「我是摩西。」

小偷笑着说：「哈！是哪个呆瓜把鹦鹉叫做摩西？」

鹦鹉很不好意思的回答：「是把这里的罗特韦尔狗

取名叫耶稣的那个人！」〔罗特韦尔狗是头等的警犬，

重达150磅，这只正好名叫耶稣，正在某个角落盯着那个小偷。〕