[搞笑2011高考零分作文笑话大全]1、广东：《回到原点》 （0，0）→（0，1）→（1，1）→（1，0）→（0，0） 2、2011年浙江高考第六题，仿写“树在，叶去；叶在，花去；花在，香去；香在，闻它的人去。” 满分答案： 你在，我去；我在，她去；她在，你去...+阅读
The Policeman and the Thief Once, a new policeman caught a thief in a small town, and decided to bring him back to the police station in the city. On their way they came to a shop where bread was sold. “ We have no food, and we must be hungry after a while. Let me go into the shop and buy some bread for us. Wait here for me.” The thief said.The policeman agreed with him and waited in the street for a long time , but thief didn't come out of the shop. The policeman began to be worried ,and ran into the shop, he couldn't see the thief but the back door of the shop.The policeman had to go back to the police station alone, and he was very unhappy.Luckily, the policeman caught the thief at the same place the next day. When.they walked though the same street and the same shop, “ Wait here,” said the policeman “ Last time you ran away from the shop. This time , I'll go into the shop and buy the bread , and you must wait here for me.” 警察与小偷一次， 一个新上任的警察在小镇上抓住了一个小偷，他决定把这小偷押送到城里警察局去。
在路上，他们路过了一家面包店。“我们没带吃的，呆会儿肯定会饿的，让我去给咱们买点面包。你在这等等我啊。”小偷说道。警察同意了，并在街上等了很长一段时间，但是，小偷一直没有从商店出来。警察开始担心了，他跑进商店，除了一扇开着的后门，他什么也没看见。警察不得不很郁闷的独自回到了警察局。幸运的是第二天，他在同一地方又抓住了那小偷。当他们路过同一条街，同一家商店时，“在这等着我，”警察说道，“上次，你从这家商店溜了，这次，我去买面包，你必须在这等我！”Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes. The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen. She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him, ＂Now here's a knife, Dick. Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman.＂ ＂Like a gentleman?＂ Dick asked. ＂How do gentlemen do it?＂ ＂They always give the bigger piece to the other person.＂ answered his aunt at once. ＂Oh＂ said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,＂Cut this cake in half, Catherine.＂. 迪克年龄七岁，他的妹妹凯瑟琳五岁。
一天，妈妈把他们带到姨妈家去玩，自己就到大城市去买些新的衣服。 孩子们玩了个把小时，在四点半的时候，姨妈领着迪克走进了厨房。她交给迪克一块精美的蛋糕和一把刀子，并对他说：“喏，迪克，给你刀子，把这块蛋糕一切为二，给你妹妹一块。不过，你得记住要做得像一个绅士那样。” 迪克问：“像一个绅士？绅士怎样做呢？” 他姨妈马上回答说：“绅士总是把大的一块让给别人的。” 迪克说了一声“噢”。他对此想了一会，然后，他把蛋糕拿给妹妹，并对她说：“凯瑟琳，你来把这块蛋糕一切为二吧。” little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?The father replied: I don 't know son. I 'm still paying！！一个小男孩问他的爸爸，结婚要花多少钱？爸爸说：我不知道，因为我仍然在付帐。
幽默英语笑话十篇 50词左右
In a sales company, the boss said to one of his employees,
＂The main thing to remember is repetition, repetition, repetition! That's the key! If you have a product to sell, keep harping on it in every way possible. Repeat it; cram it down people's throats. Even make yourself sickening and repulsive if you have to, but don't everforget to repeat, repeat, repeat. It's the only way to get results and sell our products!＂
So, the employee said, ＂Yes, sir!＂
Then the boss said, ＂Now, what was it you came to see me about?＂
And the employee replied, ＂Well, sir, it's about a raise, a raise, a raise!＂
销售公司的老板对一位员工训话：
「重要的是要记得重复、重复、重复！『不断重复』是重要关键！推销产品时，要用尽各种方法对客户不断反复地游说，对他们进行疲劳轰炸。情况需
要的话，即使让对方对你厌恶、反感也在所不惜。就是不要忘记『重复再重复！』这是得到业绩、销售产品的不二法门！」
员工回答：「老板，了解了！」
老板又说：「好，现在说说看你们来找我有什么事？」
员工回答：「老板，我要加薪！加薪！加薪！」My cooking has always been the target of family jokes. One evening, as I prepared dinner a bit too quickly, the kitchen filled with smoke and the smoke detector went off. Although both of my children had received fire-safety training at school, they did not respond to the alarm. Annoyed, I stormed through the house in search of them.
I found them in the bathroom, washing their hands. Over the loud buzzing of the smoke alarm, I asked them to identify the sound.
It's the smoke detector, they replied in unison.
Do you know what that sound means? I demanded.
Sure, my oldest replied. Dinner's ready.
我的烧饭手艺向来是家庭笑话的攻击目标。一天晚上，晚餐我准备得有点儿太快了，厨房里充满了烟，结果烟雾探查器报起警来。尽管我的两个孩子都在学校里接受过防火安全训练，可是他们并没有对报警声作出反应。我感到很恼火，满幢房子乱冲寻找他们。
我在洗澡间找到他们，发现他们正在洗手。我的声音盖过了烟雾警报的嗡嗡声，我叫他们辨别那声音。
“是烟雾探查器，”他们异口同声地说。
“你们知道那声音意味着什么吗？”我责问道。
“当然，”我的大孩子回答道，“晚饭准备好了。”
急求50字左右的英文小笑话！
Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan?
Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me. Who is this?
Caller: I'm Sam Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.
Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?
Caller: Well... just tell Annie Wan that NoeWan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now NoeWan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.
Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to thehospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this! Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Ree.
Caller: Yes! You should be Sorry. Now give me your name!!
Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree….
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