[急求英语短文！自我介绍的50字左右]Hello, I am a sixth grade elementary student, I am the joyful Geminigirl, this year 13 years old. Must ask our family has how many members, I can say: Four. Bes...+阅读
A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop.
＂How can I help you?＂ asked the stylist.
＂I went for a hair transplant,＂ the guy explained,
＂but I couldn't stand the pain. If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort, I'll pay you $5,000.＂
＂No problem,＂ said the stylistand he quickly shaved his head.
一个秃头的男人坐在理发店里。
发型师问：“有什么可以帮你吗？”
那个人解释说：“我本来去做头发移植，但实在太痛了。如果你能够让我的头发看起来像你的一样，而且没有任何痛苦，我将付给你5000美元。”
“没问题，”发型师说，然后他很快帮自己剃了个光头
One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer,＂ I see that your pig likes apples, but isn＂t that quite a waste of time?＂ The farmer replied,＂ What＂s time to a pig?＂
一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说，＂我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗？＂那位农夫回答说，＂时间对猪有什么意义？＂
英语笑话要简短又笑的
A teacher said to her class:
＂Who was the first man?＂
“George Washington,＂ a little boy shouted promptly.
＂How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?＂ asked the teacher, smiling indulgently.
＂Because, ＂ said the little boy, ＂he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.＂
But at this point a larger boy held up his hand.
＂Well,＂ said the teacher to him, ＂who do you think was the first man?＂
＂I don't know what his name was,＂ said the larger boy, ＂but I know it wasn't George Washington, ma'am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him.＂
有个老师问班上的学生：
“谁是第一个男人？”
“乔治·华盛顿，”一个小男孩当即叫道。
“你怎么知道乔治·华盛顿是第一个男人呢？”老师问道，宽容地微笑着。
小男孩说：“因为他是战时第一，和时第一，国人心中第一。”
这时一个大点儿的男孩举起手来。
“那么，”老师对他说，“你认为谁是第一个男人呢？”
“我不知道他的名字，”大点儿的男孩说，“但我知道不是乔治·华盛顿，老师。因为历史书上说，乔治·华盛顿取了一个寡妇，所以在他前面肯定还有一个男人。”
简短的英语笑话带翻译
Feel Unhappy.心里难受 Son: Is it wrong to give anyone mental or physical hurt when he felt unhappy? Father: Of cause, it is. Son: Fine, now I am feeling so bad. I lost in two subjects this time. Father(angrily): What? You------ 儿子：是不是当心里难受时，就不应该再给他精神或肉体上的刺激？ 父亲：那当然！ 儿子：那好，这次我有两门功课不及格，我现在心里很难受。 父亲（气愤地）：什么？你…… It's not that. 不是那样的。 A: I saw seven girls share one umbrella and none of them got wet. B: Oh, that must be a very big umbrella. A: No, it wasn't raining. A：我看见7个女孩共撑一把伞却没有一个被淋湿。 B：啊？那一定是把很大的伞吧！ A：不是，当时并没有下雨。 Compare other things？比一下其他？ Son: Mom, John has a pair of shoes with Gordon's name signed. Mom: You just care about this? Haven't you compared other things? Son: Yes, his mother is prettier than you. 儿子：妈妈，John有双乔丹签名的球鞋。
妈妈：你只关心这个吗？不会比一下其它东西？ 儿子：有啊，他妈妈比你漂亮。He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他赢了 汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？ 约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。 汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？ 约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。 I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,
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