[幽默搞笑的英语小故事]英语小故事带翻译：粪堆里的小鸟A little bird fly to south for the winter. It was very cold, almost frozen bird. Hence, fly to a large space, after a cow there, in...+阅读
Big Head
“All the kids make fun of me”the boy cried to his mother.“They say I have a big head”
“Don't listen to them.”his mother comforted him.“You have a beautiful head .Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes”
“Where's the shopping bag?”
“I haven't got one,use your hat.”
大脑袋
“所有的孩子都拿我开玩笑，”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说：“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。”
“别听他们的，”他妈妈安慰说：“你的脑袋长得很漂亮。好了，别哭了，去商店买10磅土豆来。”
“购物袋在哪？”
“我没有购物袋，就用你的帽子吧。”
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. ＂What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?＂
＂I gave it to a poor old woman,＂ he answered.
＂You're a good boy,＂ said the mother proudly. ＂Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?＂
＂She is the one who sells the candy.＂
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
＂Look,＂ said the elder brother. ＂How nice these paintings are!＂
＂Yes,＂ said the younger, ＂but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?＂
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, ＂Obviously he was painting the pictures.＂
父亲在哪儿？
兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”
“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”
哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”
英语幽默故事
①If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself. 日本旅馆：如果您想调节您房间的温度，请控制您自己。 ②Please don''t feed the animals. If you have any food, please give it to the guard on duty. 匈牙利动物园：请不要给动物喂食。如果您有食品，请喂给值班警卫。 ③Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar. 挪威酒吧：女士们不要在酒吧里生孩子。 ④Fur coats made for ladies from their skins. 瑞典皮货商店：为女士们制作的皮大衣，是用她们的皮制成的。 ⑤Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists. 香港牙科诊所：由最新的卫理公会教徒给您拔牙。 ⑥Drop your trousers here for best results. 泰国的干洗店：在这里脱掉您的裤子，等待最好的结果。 ⑦Specialist in women and other diseases. 意大利妇科诊所：我们是women和其他疾病的专家。
⑧Welcome to the cemetery where famous Russian artists are buried daily except Thursday. 俄国公墓：欢迎访问这个公墓，许多著名的俄国艺术家每天埋在这里，但星期四不埋。 ⑨We take your bags and send them in all directions. 丹麦机场：我们将拿走您的行李，送往四面八方。 ⑩The manager has personally passed all water served here. 墨西哥旅馆：旅馆经理将亲自为您撒尿。
求一些幽默的英文小故事
One day, a teacher took his pupils to a chicken farm to pay a visit. When they came near the incubator, chick just got out of its egg shell. ＂It's wonderful to see a little thing come out from the egg shell, isn't it?＂ the teacher said. ＂Yes, sir.＂ said one of the boys, ＂ but it would be more wonderful if we knew how a chick gets in to its eggs hell before hand.＂ 一天，老师带学生到养鸡场参观，当他们走近孵化器时，刚好一只小鸡破壳而出。 “看见一个小生命从蛋壳里出来，岂不是很奇妙的吗？”老师说。 “是的，老师。”一个男学生说，“可是，如果我们知道它是怎样事先钻进蛋壳里的那就更奇妙了。” Let me take it down An elephant said to a mouse ,＂no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen .＂ ＂Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down .＂the mouse said .＂I will tell a flea what I know.＂ 为我所用 一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。
” “请再说一遍，让我把它记下来。”老鼠说。“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。 Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning? Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,＂School-Go slow＂. 老师：为什么你每天早晨都迟到？ 汤姆：每当我经过学校的拐角处，僦看见一个牌子仩写着＂学校----慢行＂. Do You Know My Work? One night a hotel caught fire, and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes. Two men stood outside and looked at the fire. “Before I came out,” said one,“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money. People don't think of money when they're afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire, the fire burns it. So I took all the bills that I could find.No one will be poorer because I took them.” “You don't know my work,” said the other. “What is your work?” “I'm a policeman. “Oh!” cried the first man. He thought quickly and said,“And do you know my work?”“No,”said the policeman. “I'm a writer. I'm always telling stories about things that never happened.” 译文：（自己简单翻译） 你知道我是干什么的吗？ 一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡 衣就跑了出来。
两个人站在外面，看着大火。 “在我出来之前，”其中一个说：“我跑进一些房间，找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。如果有人把纸币留在火里，火就会把它烧成灰烬。所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了。没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。” “你不知道我是干什么的。”另一个说。 “你是干什么的？” “我是警察。” “噢！”第一个人喊了一声。他灵机一动，说：“那你知道我是干什么的？”“不知道。”警察说。 “我是个作家。我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事。” 希望对你有帮助！O（∩_∩）O~
初中英语幽默小故事
New Discovery A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator. Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, ＂I shouldhave brought my wife！＂ 新发现 一个乡下人第一次到大城市游逛。他走进一座大楼，看见一个岁数很大的矮胖女人迈进一个小房间。房间的门随后关上，有几个灯在闪亮。一会儿，门开了，电梯里走出一位年青漂亮的女模特。 乡下人惊奇地眨着眼睛，慢吞吞地说：“我应该把我的老婆带来！” hillbilly n. 乡下人，乡巴佬. pudgy adj.矮胖的，矮而粗的 drawl vt, vi慢吞吞地说；拉长语调地说
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